


You're Just You and I'm Just Me

by Psychicninja90



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, For Lucifer and Chloe, Fortunetelling, Identity Reveal, It took me so long to write this, Like seriously I want to learn more about Chloe, Making up stuff about Chloe, Mild Angst, artistic license with tarot card reading, long story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-26 15:32:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13238730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychicninja90/pseuds/Psychicninja90
Summary: To celebrate New Year's the precinct family decides to spend some quality time together. Much to most of the group's chagrin, it's at Santa Monica Pier. Chloe is burdened by taxing thoughts, but then a chance encounter with a fortuneteller changes everything.





	You're Just You and I'm Just Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mischief_With_Sandra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischief_With_Sandra/gifts).



> This story is based on a prompt from Mischief_With_Sandra on Tumblr. Thank you so much for the prompt and I'm sorry that it took so long to write! It was only...7 1/2 months. lol I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Happy New Year everyone!!

No one wanted to be there. Santa Monica Pier held bad memories for most of them, but Trixie was on holiday break, they were all in a dour mood due to the Sinnerman, Chloe especially with all the heartache that followed, and Chloe lived with a small child that refused to be contained in her house. Her Christmas buzz hadn't waned and no one blamed her; most people wanted to have fun during the holidays and her daughter was no exception. It had always amazed Chloe how her daughter was such a bright light in a darkened world. For Trixie's light was not borne of ignorance, but pure hope. Hope in a broken world was courageous and rare, and Chloe didn't want her morose spirit to rub off on her daughter, so she had conceded to her daughter's wishes. 

But in spite of their suggestions of Disney Land or Kississimee, for which Lucifer had enthusiastically offered to pay, Trixie had insisted on the pier.

“We can all lay on the beach afterward and watch the sunset!” she had said with such bright innocent eyes that Chloe's heart hurt to think of saying no.

And really Chloe couldn't think of any solid excuses anyway. School was out for a mini vacation, there was for once a reprieve in homicides in L.A with no signs of activity after the Sinnerman's death, and Trixie would not be denied time spent with her favorite people in the world plus her two new friends on New Year's Eve day. So there Maze, Linda, Dan, Lucifer, Chloe, and Amenadiel stood on the threshold of the pier stock still and staring at the massive rides and cloying noise of laughter and tinny music overlaid with the current Top 40. In front of them Ella and Trixie were too busy planning the day's adventures to notice their trepidation.

Despite her dark thoughts, she couldn't help noticing how Ella was basically an adult version of Trixie. A comparison that made her smile and hopeful for Trixie's continuing effervescence.

“Okay so first we ride the giant Ferris Wheel. It goes over the water and one time I swear I saw a dolphin!”

Trixie gasped in awe and her eyes grew wide.

“Then we go on the roller coaster--so awesome! It's goes on this really high hill and when you go down, you've gotta put your arms up!"

"Yeah!"

"Then I'll show you my sick skills in the arcade." Ella leaned down and whispered conspiratorially. "I may or may not be the world champion pinball player.”

But at that Trixie frowned. “I didn't bring quarters.”

The young woman smirked as she pulled out a large sack that jingled with every movement. “Dude.”

“Awesome!”

They high-fived with gusto. Then Trixie immediately dashed to Lucifer and yanked him forward with a dramatic sigh at his silent protests.

“ _Come on!_  Let's go!”

Looking flabbergasted at both the contact and what she imagined was also her daughter's persistent need to be with him, he made a show of resisting, but Chloe knew he wouldn't deny her. As much as he proclaimed revulsion towards children, she knew that her daughter held a special place in his heart. A small smile crept onto her face as she watched her daughter run with him toward the Ferris Wheel with Ella leading the charge.

“I think I'm going to get a drink,” Dan spoke up.

She turned to see him grimace and her heart ached. Dan had been shaken after Charlotte had woken up with no memory of him or anything about the last year. Things were better between him and Charlotte now, but he had been disappointed when she had declined the invitation to join them. Secretly she was glad for Charlotte's absence, there were already enough bad memories associated with this place. She didn't need any more reminders. However, she sympathized as she understood the often labyrinthine course of love and it was not a fun trek.

She wanted to give Charlotte the benefit of the doubt and Chloe had heard of retrograde amnesia, but almost an entire year? That seemed unlikely. When she had talked to Linda, she had shakily answered that she could have experienced a fugue state from the trauma of being attacked. Chloe had taken her word for it, but something about the way she answered had given her pause.

“I'll go with you. I need one too,” said Linda who followed after him. Before she left, Chloe noticed Linda giving Maze's hand a small squeeze.

Chloe watched her with a frown. Something was off with Linda too. In spite of their girls' nights and her once spouting the revelation of secrets within the tribe, she had been mum about her own trauma, waving her concerns away with an explanation of 'all in a day's work for a psychiatrist', but as a seasoned officer, Chloe recognized the signs of PTSD: the slight tremor in her hands, the constant checking of her surroundings, her avoidance of her office long after she had recovered, her obvious discomfort while inside her office, and her constant need for a drink. She had tried several times to approach her about it, but Linda had always brushed her off. The most recent attempt stood out in her mind.

_Gesticulating with a drink in hand she said, “I'm fine!”_

_“Linda you know you can talk to me.”_

_She looked at her with sad eyes and a wry grin. “No I can't. Let me know when you know. Then we can talk.”_

Doctors were often the most stubborn patients, but Chloe knew when to drop a subject. However, Chloe couldn't stop thinking about her words: _let me know when you_ _know_ .

Know what?

Chloe shook away the strange thoughts. As much as she wanted to help, Linda refused to confide in her and she couldn't do anything until she decided to. Much to her chagrin, shutting her out seemed to be a trend among her friends.

“I'm gonna try those trapeze classes,” Maze said with a shrug. She cast a friendly, but cautious smile toward Chloe which she returned.

Maze who had made overtures of friendship bordering on clinginess was now more...careful. On more than one occasion she had caught Maze staring at her with fear, anxiety, and desperation. At the same time she was impossibly sweeter, almost deferential, like she was buttering her up for something.

One evening she had asked her about her strange behavior. At which she had scoffed, but with a confident bravado that rang wholly false she had said,

_“What Decker? I take care of my own,” Maze smirked, but she wouldn't look at her._

_“I know that. But you taking care of your own usually involves burnt toast and threats of violence against bullies. Lately you've been acting...differently.”_

_She raised an eyebrow in question. “Like when I told you I don't want Trixie taking a knife to school, you listened. And you've actually been washing the dishes. You've even learned how I like my coffee! It's just, it's like you're worried that...Maze just because things between Lucifer and I are...a little more complicated...He and I are still friends. We're...we're working through our stuff, but even if we weren't...,” she had sighed. “Look you're my friend too. Nothing is going to change that.”_

_She looked down then, thoughtful and nervous. “Yeah. I just...I want you to know that you don't have to worry about anything. Especially from me. Just remember that, okay?”_

_Gingerly she touched Maze's hand. “Of course, Maze.”_

Maze's smile had been small, even shy and Chloe's concern had grown.

And it wasn't just towards her she had been acting strangely.

Perhaps it had been because of what had happened to Linda as Maze had always been fiercely protective of those she called friend, but the looks she would give anyone, even the doctors, who would come near Linda bordered on predatory. Then when Amenadiel and Linda had started hanging out for a minute, she had become even more territorial.

But nothing had surprised her more than her distance from Lucifer. They were still friendly and hung out and it was obvious that they both cared about each other, but there was a more tenuous connection than before. Like something had changed too quickly in their relationship and they were still finding their footing. What had happened to shake up what seemed like such a solid friendship?

Chloe winced. How often had she wondered the same thing about her and Lucifer's ...whatever they were?

After the fiasco with the Sinnerman, she had been angry. At him because he continuously left her out when they were supposed to be partners. What had she done to lose his trust? But after a lot of thinking she had become angry at herself. It wasn't like she had been tempted by vengeance herself. And he didn't go through with it. And frankly he had been trying to tell her about the Sinnerman the whole time. First with his kidnapping, then with the Sinnerman's existence, and although the idea that the Sinnerman wanted to die by Lucifer's hand seemed ludicrous, everything else Lucifer had told her had been true. This time, she felt in her gut, wasn't any different.

He had always told the truth to her, but she had been so blinded by her hurt feelings that at some point her trust in him had waned too. And that bothered her to her core. He was and always would be her best friend. And in his strange way, he had been crying out for help. She had decided then that no matter what it took she was going to help him, but first they had to hash out whatever was between them, so she had swallowed her confusing feelings, ran to Lux where he fumbled over his apologies and she had simply embraced him.

Between sips of wine, they had talked easily and the energy between them had felt less strained. But he had looked at her with caution and the same mild terror that Maze had begun to direct towards her. The magic of a stressful experience was that it can put things in perspective and at least because of it they had started talking about the hard stuff they had both been avoiding.

_“Detective there is more to this Sinnerman case...” he said without meeting her eyes._

_She paused mid-sip and sighed. “You don't have think about that anymore, Lucifer.”_

_“Yes I do. The Sinnerman had not been the man in charge. He was simply the frontman.”_

_Dread gripped her heart. “So this isn't over?”_

_Breathing deeply he closed his eyes. “No. He was a protege of a man named Cain.”_

_“Cain? Who is Cain?”_

_“I'm not sure you would believe me if I told you. And right now, I need to gain his trust in order to learn his motives.”_

_She rolled her eyes. Groaning she set down her glasse with a little more force than she intended. “Lucifer, we're partners remember? We do this together.”_

_He sighed. “Look, he works for the LAPD. And if he knew you were privy to this information I fear what he would do to you and the rest of our friends.”_

_“Imagine what he can do since I don't know!” Frustrated she stood up and away from him._

_Soundlessly he must have followed her as she felt the gentle warmth of his hands on her shoulders. Subconsciously she leaned into him. Her mind reprimanded her body, but her heart could not deny the comfort she always gleaned from his touch._

_“He is unpredictable and capable of feats I once thought impossible.” The pleading in his voice made her turn._

_His eyes were wide with concern and something she rarely saw from him—fear. That stilled any skepticism she may have had and quieted any protest she may have offered. Here stood a man who thought himself immortal and invincible. Neither bullets nor rules gave him pause. Therefore his fear sent a thrill of it up her own spine. A scared Lucifer was not a good sign._

_“This is far more dangerous and far beyond LAPD jurisdisction. I don't want to get you involved.”_

_She shook her head. He was her partner. Why couldn't he understand that she would be brave, especially for him? “Lucifer--”_

_“Chloe.”_

_Her name, even spoken in urgency and fear, always sounded sacred coming from him. And it always spoke of importance, so she swallowed her retort._

_“Please trust me on this. I will tell you everything, but this is...you are too important to me and I can't—I won't...” His face contorted with pain and he looked away. Gently she made him look at her._

_“If anything happened to you. I don't know what I do. Please Detective. I know you don't need it, but I need you to let me protect you from this man.”_

_The look in his eyes and his words made her heart flutter. All she could do was nod._

_He breathed out in relief. “Thank you. I will however share who I am with you.”_

_“I know who you are, Lucifer.” She smiled at him fondly._

_He gave a small sad smile. “Not completely. I don't understand much, but for once I know this for certain. I want you to know everything. You deserve the truth,” he said in a firm voice that did not belie the anxiety in his eyes._

_Reeling at his insistence to open up she simply nodded. The intensity in his gaze was matched by the fear in his face. The prospect of sharing his past seemed so insurmountable for him, but he was determined to surpass it and her heart softened. “We can start slowly.”_

_For the both of them, they would start slowly._

_She gently took his hands in hers and said with as much conviction as she could: “And I know this for certain: nothing you say will change the way I feel about you.”_

That had been nearly a month ago. In that time they had been together a lot more outside of work and Lucifer was finally opening up to her, but true to her word, she had let him go slowly and she didn't bring up any off topic questions, which were mostly questions about recent events.

After he had returned from the desert he had been angry, so very angry and a little unpredictable. And dangerous. Not to her, Dan, Trixie, or anyone he was close to, but every suspect he treated as though they were already guilty. More than usual she had had to reign him in. She had known that he was hurting and obviously, he was acting out due to his trauma, but what had changed to have caused that shift in him so extremely she still wasn't sure. She wanted to help him. Her heart ached for him.

Truly though she wanted _him_ and her heart longed for him.

By entertaining a brief romance with Marcus, she had tried to move on from him. She had accepted an invitation to one date with the man and Lucifer had been jealous, but also worried. So worried that she could've sworn she had seen his perfectly coiffed hair in a booth at the far end of the restaurant.

And well, the date had been nice, but once the fluttering feeling at seeing him in a suit had dissipated and they had actually started talking, a niggling in the back of her mind materialized. She couldn't place it, but before they had even received her meal she had realized that the dinner had been a mistake. Marcus had been trying really hard to seem interested whenever she would talk about Trixie or her friends or really anything about herself, but his behavior seemed more condescending than attentive and his eyes on her felt more possessive than warm. And so when he dropped her off, she had thanked him for the evening, but didn't invite him in. The next day she approached him saying that from then on, they should remain colleagues and friends.

It wouldn't have been fair if she hadn't. He had seemed perturbed, but honestly she didn't care about his opinion anymore and in fact felt better than she had since she had first met him. As though a weight had been lifted from her, she felt like herself at work again.

And the whole affair reminded her that there was only one tall dark and handsome man who still held her heart no matter how much it would be if he didn't.

Being with Lucifer everyday was a joy and pain. Every time he smiled at her her heart pitter-pattered pleasantly and she could swear that she had caught him staring at her like she was the only light in the universe. She had seen that look before, several times actually. She wasn't crazy. She had seen it. She had felt it in her heart and in her fingertips when they had traced the outline of his jaw.

But then...

She started at the sound of loud sigh. Looking to her left she saw Amenadiel was still there.

Jesus, how long had she been standing there lost in thought? A while she guessed as people were giving her and Amenadiel strange looks. The sight of a grown woman zoning out and a grown man staring wide-eyed at everything as though he had never seen half the contraptions on the pier probably seemed odd.

There was one gawker, an elderly woman with a judgmental frown, that wasn't even trying to be subtle about it, so she glared at her until she turned away.

Chloe rolled her eyes and returned her attention to the grown man with the child-like wonder on his face. Had he never been to a carnival or fair before? With him seeming so overwhelmed, she quelled the urge to leave him to his own devices. She held nothing against him, but once they had noticed each other again, an awkward silence fell between them.

They had very rarely been alone together, the only time being when he had shot himself to demonstrate that Lucifer's Luciferness was all an act. Also she _had_ tried to arrest his step-mom. And she wasn't sure how she felt about him since he didn't always seem like a great big brother to Lucifer. But in general being around him was uncomfortable because she really didn't know him. And yet, strangely while Lucifer had been gone, he had been watching over her. She had never mentioned it to him, not even to say thank you (how awkward would that be), but she had seen him more than once and she _was_ grateful.

“I guess...,” he mumbled and he rubbed his head self-consciously.

She smiled kindly. “Did you want to just look around? I've never actually been here before.” Except for that one time when things were weird and confusing...

Charlotte had always been strange to her, but in that moment she had been a little afraid. The Charlotte Richards she had met on many occassions was calm calculating and in control, but on the pier she had seemed unhinged and dangerous. Well more dangerous. During their chat, she had monologued about how much she valued family and what she would do for it.

“I'd even destroy the world,” she had said. A chill had run up her spine at her words, like some part of her had believed that she could do it, but she had clamped it down. She had had a job to do.

“Charlotte this has been a great chat, but are you gonna confess or not?”

She had rolled her eyes as though the conversation was beneath her. “I'll never understand going to all this trouble for one little human.” She had huffed in resignation. “Yes. I was involved in Chet's death, but not in the way you think.”

Then Hector had arrived with his gun, and then Lucifer had shown up with an oddly familiar knife, disheveled and wide-eyed, pleading with Hector to not fire.

“You can't protect your mother anymore,” Chloe had said calmly.

“I'm not here for her; it's you I'm trying to save.” She had shaken her head, not understanding. 

“Save me. Really? _I'm_ the one holding _her_.”

Then two gunshots had cut through the music and laughter. One had embedded in Hector's chest, while the other target had suddenly appeared on the beach below with no memory of what had transpired.

Although she had asked him what had happened, Lucifer had yet to explain. How had he been saving her? How had they been on the pier in one second then in the next, on the beach? Although, she remembered, that hadn't been the first time he had done something like that. So many strange things happened around him and to him. Still nothing about what they had talked about had indicated why though.

“Chloe?” Amenadiel speaking startled her out of her thoughts. “Chloe are you okay?”

She blinked rapidly and tried to give him an easy smile. “Uh, yeah, yeah. Sorry.”

Had he been talking the whole time? What was wrong with her? She didn't completely zone out that time, but that was happening a lot today. She sighed. Sleep. She needed more sleep. And answers. And a vacation. And maybe a few glasses of wine. With a tall someone with brown eyes and infectious laugh and--

“I was just saying that I've never been here either.”

“Oh,” she said a little distractedly.

His brow crinkled in concern. “Are you sure you're all right?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just lost in thought.” She plastered what she hoped was another facsimile of an easy smile, but his face remained unchanged. So she let it slip from her face and patted his arm awkwardly. “Let's go.”

* * *

After learning that Amenadiel actually hadn't ever been to a fairbefore, Chloe insisted on buying him an elephant ear.

“They're a staple,” she said as she handed him the plate.

After giving it a tentative sniff, Amenadiel bit into the fried batter and groaned with delight. She smiled at his innocent joy. She was happy to bring the often brooding man some happiness and as a bonus the sounds of him eating filled the otherwise awkward silence. Although he had been around her for over a year, she realized she didn't know anything about him. Maybe it was time to change that.

“So, uh,” she looked at her hands,“we've known each other for a while now, but I actually don't know that much about you.”

He looked at her owlishly and swallowed his giant bite. “Yeah, well, when I first arrived in Los Angeles, I wasn't really here for making friends. Then the last year with Mom...and the thing with the Sinnerman...now with...well...,” he looked thoughtfully at the attractions they walked passed, “I've been busy.”

She nodded. “It's been crazy.”

“Yeah.”

She turned to him with a kind smile. “How are you holding up?”

He stopped mid-bite and looked at her confused and she stammered a bit. “I mean with everything that's happened with your mom and Lucifer's abduction...I never thanked you for helping him. Lucifer told me that you've been there for him during this...difficult time. I can't imagine what would have happened if...,” she bit her lip to stem the the flow of disturbing thoughts.

“What I mean is thank you for being there for him.” _When I wasn't,_ she didn't say.

He shook his head and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “No thanks necessary. Lucifer's my little brother. I'd do anything to protect him. And with my mom it's...complicated.”

Humming her understanding, she said, “Have you talked with Charlotte?”

“Yeah... It was actually okay. She understands what happened, but we haven't spoken much since then.”

“I'm sorry,” she said sincerely.

He smiled a little. “I'm okay. My relationship with her was...uh not the typical kind.”

She huffed a laugh. “I suppose we have that in common then. Growing up with my mom was challenging, but it's gotten better and I know she loves me.”

“Definitely. She prayed for you,” he muttered as he took another bite.

“What--”

He choked a bit. “And I should thank _you_ for giving Lucifer another chance. He told me you two have been talking a lot more.”

Huh. Dodging seemed to run in the family, but Chloe decided to let it drop. For the moment.

“Well it's hard to not like your brother,” she mused with a small smile.

“You two seem happy,” he said with soft eyes.

Chloe felt a blush creep into her cheeks and she looked away a little shyly. “Yeah. I mean he's my friend, you know? I care about him. And I've forgiven him for what happened. I really should've..." She bit her lip. "Anyway, we've been talking a lot about our lives and I've been feeling really connected to him...”

“But?” he drew out the word.

She sighed. “But he's still holding back. I don't want to pressure him, but I...I can tell something is bothering him. Whatever it is has him scared.”

A part of her thought that maybe he was afraid of her.

How many times during their talks had he looked at her like she would run out in an instant? She understood whatever was going on with this Cain person was weighing on him and as much as she wanted to know about that situation, she felt like there was a barrier to her fully understanding his problems.

Perhaps this barrier _was_ his fear. His fear of judgement and rejection. She knew that he'd probably been abused as a child, if his scars were any indication. And the fact that normal human interaction seemed to baffle spoke of someone who was probably neglected at least when it came to affection. Maybe it's what made him run the last time? He had worried that what they had wasn't real. But she thought that after the confrontation with the professor that he had believed her feelings.

And what about his marriage? Had he just been afraid of commitment and he did the first thing he could think of to push her away? Perhaps he still believed that her feelings hadn't been real. But then to immediately get divorced...and he was jealous when she and the new lieutenant had gone out on a date. He was so dead-set on being just friends that his behavior didn't make much sense. She frowned.

She didn't know. And perhaps they were both afraid as neither of them had broached that subject in their truth-telling sessions.

“I understand why he's holding back on some things and I've decided to trust him there, but...there's something else. I want to help him. And I want to understand what happened...before.”

Amenadiel gave her a look she couldn't place. Something in his eyes spoke of a deep sadness and something like awe in them too. “I know you do.”

She opened her mouth to mention it, to ask what was wrong, but Amenadiel looked at something past her. “Oh look. Fortune telling.”

Nonplussed, she turned to see if there was something there or if this was just a distraction. Indeed there stood a modest booth wedged between a shop and one end of the ferris wheel. She frowned in distaste.

“Since when do they have fortunetellers here?”

Amenadiel chuckled and shrugged. “Maybe it's a new attraction. Do you wanna go?”

Her eyebrows shot up into her hairline. “You believe in that stuff?”

He made a noncommittal sound. “Not necessarily. I believe that there are very special people in the world and that they use their gifts for good,” he said while looking at her a little appraisingly.

She scoffed to mask her discomfort. “And for profit. Fortunetellling isn't real.”

“Aren't magic shows the same? Every one knows it's not real, but they still enjoy them.”

He had her there. But she didn't have to tell him that. He smiled knowingly and she crossed her arms in front of her.

“Look, Chloe, the worst thing that could happen is she says something ridiculous and we have a fun story for later.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

“And who knows? Maybe she's the real deal.” He smiled playfully.

She rolled her eyes. “Right. And I'm the future Queen of Hell.”

Amenadiel laughed awkwardly.

* * *

The open booth was simply decorated with purple and teal linen lined with gold fringe that covered a standard long white table. The canopy looked like it had been purchased from a Better Home and Gardens magazine with hanging windchimes attached to it that were probably from a craft show. At least the incense smelled pleasant. Cinnamon. Odd choice, but Chloe liked it. The young tan woman sat across from them with a blithe smile. Other than her being very attractive with her dark curly hair and oval face, Chloe was unimpressed with the set up. The young woman didn't even wear a costume instead opting for a long sleeved shirt and jeans. She could even see the cord from the crystal ball. The only thing unusual about her was a large opal that sat on her chest. The color of the stone shifted in the light from a light green to pink to an opaque white. The surface of the opal gave the effect of a gas swirling underneath the surface. She narrowed her eyes to get a better look and was startled by her voice.  

“Welcome," she said. "My name is Vates."

Gesturing around at the Walmart-level set up, she said, "A fortuneteller?"

Her eyes glittered in amusement. "I am a Seer whose gifts stem from ancient roots.” Perhaps she should call herself a siren instead of a Seer. Her voice was as smooth as honey, alluring and soothing at the same time. Chloe's shoulders relaxed involuntarily.

Regardless, Chloe rolled her eyes and Amenadiel put on his most charming smile. Again Chloe could see the resemblance between the two brothers. “I'm Amenadiel. How much?”

Glancing at the money, she made no move to take it. Instead she just continued to give him a friendly grin. “I'm sorry. I cannot help you.”

His smile sagged a little. “Excuse me?”

“I'm afraid the cards wish to speak to your friend today.” The woman cast a piercing look at Chloe.

Chloe and Amenadiel shared matching surprised glances, but his face shifted to highly amused in a millisecond. Now there was absolutely no doubt that Lucifer and Amenadiel grew up together and Chloe became annoyed. He was enjoying this far too much and this woman was clearly too deeply entrenched in her act.

He giggled at her and her glare deepened. “I'll pay for her then.”

The woman, Vates, to Chloe's trepidation had continued to stare at her. Although squirming under her gaze, she couldn't break eye contact. She felt _something_. The sensation was unlike Lucifer's gaze which always sought to draw out which although held no sway over her she always felt the aura whenever he would use it around her. Instead this felt like cloth being pulled back from her body, until she was exposed, naked, but somehow it dug deeper. Like an X-Ray for one's thoughts. The woman was peering through the layers of her skin past her earthly vessel into whatever made Chloe _Chloe._ There was a gentle prod in her mind, and Chloe shivered at the contact, but it pushed no further. The woman narrowed her eyes and tried again causing Chloe to bristle at the second intrusion.

“Stop,” she said with a force that she had never felt before pushing out of her and the sensation dissipated like smoke.

The woman recoiled, then smiled, seemingly satisfied. And Chloe glared harder. Whatever had just happened was not pleasant nor welcome. She glanced at Amenadiel and was surprised to see that his amusement had hardened into a calculating look directed at the woman.

“For her, there is no charge.” She gestured to the empty chair. “Come. Sit.”

Chloe was still eyeing the woman suspiciously. “I don't think so.”

She turned to walk away, but was stopped by a gentle hand on her arm. Turning the woman had dropped her smile for an insistent expression.

“Please. It's important.”

She glanced at Amenadiel skeptically, but his eyes remained hard and trained on the woman. Even Amenadiel found this woman unnerving? The guy who rivaled Lucifer in weirdness being weirded out was never good. 

“No. We're done here. Come on, Amenadiel.” She pulled her arm away and without a second glance walked toward the entrance.

“It's about you and the Lightbringer, Chloe,” she called out.

That stopped her in her tracks.

She knew her name. And the name 'Lightbringer' sounded familiar as well. Before Chloe actually knew Lucifer she had researched him and everything there was about the Devil. Of course she didn't believe any of the stuff she had read, but was it a coincidence that this woman connected her to a name of the Devil when she was connected to a man who claimed to be him? Wait, how could she know that?

Just barely, she trembled. How in the Hell did she know her name to begin with?

Chloe spun around to face her. What else did she know? “How do you know--”

She tutted and offered the deck to her. “First the cards. Then questions. Now please sit.”

Chloe remained where she stood.

“How do you know my name?” she demanded.

The woman sighed and gently replaced the deck on the table.“Simple. I just plucked the name out of your friend's mind. Unfortunately, I can't read yours, but I don't need to to know you are connected to the Lightbringer. His light surrounds you like a shield.”

Chloe chuckled uncomfortably. “Right.”

“If you will sit, I will answer all your questions. I promise.”

Biting her lip she looked at her suspiciously. On the one hand she was curious. This woman knew far too much about her based on nothing. On the other hand this was crazy. All fortune tellers were scam artists.

Except she had denied payment.

No this was crazy and a waste of time.

But ultimately her curiosity won out.

Sighing she sat down, but she still felt uneasy. “What do I do?”

“Close your eyes.”

Chloe grimaced, but complied.

“Clear your mind.”

She huffed. While she was in college she had tried meditation thinking that it would help in her career. All she accomplished was falling asleep on a regular basis. At least she was able to nap a bit. Regardless as a single mom working long hours with a mysterious man whom she had strong and confounding feelings for made it significantly difficult to clear her mind. There was too much. Internally she chuckled without humor. She had always been 'too much.'

After a few more moments of trying to clear her mind to no avail, she sighed and threw her hands up in frustration.

“I can't do this.”

Instead of dismissing her Vates looked thoughtful. “Hmm. I should've known that it would be difficult for you. Your mind is overburdened with your responsibilities. That's always been your flaw, Chloe.”

Chloe rolled her eyes, but Vates didn't seem to notice. “We're going to try something. Please close your eyes.”

She was already in this so why not? She closed her eyes.

“In your heart there is a room,” she intoned. “Imagine the door. Do you see it?”

In her mind's eye, a dark stained wooden door materialized. “Yes.”

“Good. Open it. Inside the room is everything in your heart and mind. There is something there that calls to you.”

Unsurprisingly the room was packed to the ceiling. Stacks of paperwork, a small cardboard cut-out of her in her Hot-Tub High School costume, a large picture of Trixie taking up most of the wall hung there. Her beaming smile made her heart warm with joy. But looking around she knew immediately what her object was. It weighed on her the most, but it had always given her a sense of grounding. It was something through which she held so many happy memories, but also carried a bittersweet taste.

In the middle of the room stood a black and gleaming baby grand, identical to the one in Lucifer's penthouse and at Lux. She ran her hand over the smooth wood and smiled. So much from such a simple thing. So much space was taken up by this piano. So much had happened at this piano.

Through the walls she heard the woman's voice reverberate around the room.

“What lies on your heart? What thought weighs on your mind? Find the question you are burning to know the answer to...then grasp it and hold firm.”

She chuckled. She could hardly hold the piano. Instead she sat on the bench and fingered the keys.

“Now open your eyes and shuffle the deck.”

When she opened her eyes she half expected to see the piano in front of her and the man who owned it next to her drinks in hand, smile on his face, the word 'Detective' on his lips. She was a little disappointed that hadn't happened.

She took the deck from the table and began to shuffle.

“How many times?”

“As many as you are moved to do.”

Chloe quirked an eyebrow, but remained silent. Figuring three times was enough, she placed the deck on the table.

“Now draw and place a card face down in the spaces in the order you deem it,” she said as she gestured to the seven spaces outlined on the fabric.

Again she felt a little silly, but she had already gone that far so she did as she was instructed. To her surprise everytime she drew a card, she didn't randomly place it. She felt a specific space belonged to each card. Following that feeling she withdrew and ordered the seven cards on the table.

Vates gestured to the first set of two. “This is the past.” She flipped over the cards. “The Emperor and the inverted Hermit.”

Chloe looked up for an explanation.

“Your father, a man whom you greatly admired and loved, you lost him at such a difficult age. And the absence of your mother...You grew up far too quickly and practically alone.”

Chloe leaned back and her hand clenched the sides of her chair. How in the hell...

Vates either did not notice or didn't care about her reaction as she flipped over the next set of cards.“The present. The Moon...,” she closed her eyes briefly. “You feel insecure about your relationship with the Lightbringer. But here the Tower!”

She nearly shoved the card in her face. “Soon all will be revealed. There will be great change.”

“Uh--” Chloe started, but Vates was deeply enthralled in the reading and became more and more fervent in the cards. Her eyes were a bit over bright with some light without any outside source that Chloe could see.

“The future.” She flipped over another card.

“Death?!” she squeaked and Vates chuckled.

“Do not worry. This card simply means change, transition, endings, and beginnings.”

Endings? She didn't want any endings.

“And beginnings. Sometimes an ending leads to a better beginning.” She gave her a knowing smile. How had she known? She must have seen it in her face. Chloe remembered their strange introduction and wondered if somehow she had seen it in her _mind_.

“I thought you couldn't read my mind.”

“I don't have to,” she said with a smirk as she flipped over the second card.

She gasped. “Oh. It's beautiful...I never thought—but it's perfect.”

“What?”

She held up the card depicting two people in a passionate embrace, labeled The Lovers. “What binds you together. Your bond is forged by the most powerful force in the universe.”

“Which is?” she asked though she felt she already knew what she would say.

“Love,” she whispered in awe. “It's amazing and perfect. What better way to protect someone then to love them? Very appropriate for your guardian angel.”

“My guardian angel?” she said her words dripping in doubt.

 _A shot rang out and something ripped into her shoulder. The impact threw her back and she landed on the floor with a dull thunk. The shattered glass was cutting into her skin, but she barely noticed. Hovering above her was_ him. _His eyes were soft, his voice was soothing, and his hand on her face was warm. A sense of calm blanketed her._

_“I don't wanna die,” she croaked._

_His eyes were the softest she had ever seen them. Warm and bright with concern and...care, he caressed her face so gently, like she was precious. “I won't let you,” he breathed out._

_And she believed him._

She shook off the memory; her skepticism firmly back in place.

“He accepted that role the first time he shielded you from bullets.”

No. Lucifer wasn't an angel or the Devil. He was just Lucifer. _Her_ Lucifer. Well, not hers, but...her friend and partner. Lucifer: regular-ish guy with a penchant for bad puns and a remarkably durable liver. Regardless the back of her mind wondered how she could know he had saved her. Lucky guess perhaps. 

She chuckled a little to hide her trepidation. “Okay now I know you read my mind.”

“Would you believe me if I said you just told me?”

Chloe raised an eyebrow and shook her head.

“I don't believe in telepathy. Or guardian angels for that matter. Or Heaven or Hell or any of that stuff,” she said with more bite than she had intended. But Vates seemed impassive. 

“I recommend you open your mind to the possibility. It will make the transition easier.”

She glanced at the other cards on the table and her shoulders dropped with a profound sadness. “You both have been through so much, but there is such great love here.”

Great love. In that moment she wished she were speaking of her and Lucifer. She swallowed thickly.

“And this card?” she asked in a quiet voice as she pointed to the card in front of her. 

“This is who you are.” Vates turned over the card and smiled at whatever she saw.

On the card sat a crowned woman in flowing robes with a placid expression, peaceful, warm, and intelligent. In her left hand she held scales and in her right she held a sword aloft.

“Justice,” Chloe read and something inside her slipped into place. Like finally receiving an answer to a question she had never thought to ask, but had always been there, she felt a contentedness, rightness at the word. It felt familiar. It felt like coming home. But how could this be?

She looked up into her eyes and saw the confirmation in Vates' eyes.

“Yes. You are Justice.”

She scoffed, but she knew that it rang false and she saw Vates smiling knowingly.

She bit her lip. Why did her heart tell her that it was the truth? Why did she fear that it was the truth? “Well, I'm a homicide detective. So yeah I guess? But I don't change the world. I help people in LA, yes. But even then I only help after something terrible has happened. I'm just a regular cop.”

Vates shook her head with warm and fond eyes, looking at her how one would tell a child a difficult truth.

“No you _are_ Justice. That is why you are what you are. God chose to put you here to be a light in this world. And with each life you've touched, you've given peace to the innocent and discipline to the guilty. When I couldn't see into your mind, I knew you were special. Justice must not be forcefully swayed by either human or divine beings. You are one of the few humans on earth with just a touch more of divinity.”

Gently she clasped her trembling hands and Chloe was so entranced by her emerald eyes and strange words, that she let her. Her heart beat fast and with each beat it said _this is truth, this is right_ , but she was afraid. She couldn't accept this.

“And the Lightbringer...,” Vates continued. “Your fate has been entwined with his since the Beginning."

"Who is he?" she whispered.

"Your soulmate. Your other half. Samael was always meant to guard your body and your heart.” She gave her hand a tender squeeze. “As you were always meant to guard his.”

Her heart spasmed painfully and she pulled her hand away. It wasn't real. He didn't want that. He didn't want her. Besides it wasn't him. _This_ wasn't real. This woman was a charlatan and she had to go. She had to get away from whatever the hell this was. Now.

“Okay. I think I'm done,” she ground out. 

Practically knocking the chair over, she sped away from the table.

“You cannot run from who you are, Divine-Touched!” she called out from behind her, but she didn't turn. Still Vates continued, “Where there is persecution, where there is pain, where there is hate, where there is darkness, you will be as well to right those wrongs.”

Chloe's steps slowed almost unwillingly. Something inside her told her to listen, that she needed to know this.

“And I'm afraid days filled with those are coming. There is unrest in Heaven and in Hell that I fear will spill into our world. We will need both of you. We will need your light. He will need it too. Your angel is spiraling back into darkness because he has not received justice for the wrongs committed against him. Only your light can bring him back.”

“How can I help someone I don't know? How is that fair that's on me? I'm—”

No she was wrong. This person was not her other half. Someone else was. But Samael was a name she had read before. The former name of the Devil, of Lucifer.

Her Lucifer?...

NO.

“I'm just me,” she said in a small voice.

Vates slowly rounded the table. She walked slowly. Chloe had every opportunity to walk away, but she stood watching her. She didn't retreat when Vates stood before her. And she didn't pull away when she gently took her hand with a reassuring squeeze. “That's all you need to be.”

Leaning in she whispered in her ear, “Wisdom, Prudence, Courage, and Justice. Your kindred.”

Nonplussed, Chloe stepped away shaking a little, but Vates didn't seem to notice as she turned to face Amenadiel who had been standing stock still, transfixed by what had happened.

“And you God's First, your path is unfolding. Hold strong to the convictions grown from your heart, not taught to you from those who would use you. Coming times will be trying and your goodness will serve us all.”

“In fact," she glanced at both of them meaningfully then with a graceful hand picked up the deck and presented it to Amenadiel, "I think it's your turn to shuffle the deck.

* * *

Chloe nibbled on her nail as she waited for Amenadiel. Although she had felt bad for leaving she definitely needed some air and to just be away from whatever that experience had been. Vates had been...odd, but in an almost comforting way. She reminded her of Merlin to King Arthur. Just eccentric enough to cause a few raised eyebrows, but good-natured to calm a pensive mind.

After ten minutes or so, she saw Amenadiel walking towards her, head bowed, and obviously lost in thought. He was just as unnerved as she was she figured. She wasn't sure if she was comforted by that or not.

“What did she say?”

He shook his head. Chloe knew it was something important and unsettling so as his friend she wanted to help, but she realized that perhaps he didn't feel the same or he just didn't feel ready to share. Either way, she wouldn't push and instead strove to lighten the mood.

“So that was...weird.”

He chuckled. “Yeah...”

“I mean Lightbringer...Divine-Touched...It's-it's ridiculous! Justice." She snorted derisively. " _I_ am Justice? How is that possible? How is that fair? I'm just me. And what kind of name is Samael?”

“Uh...”

Suddenly they both heard a high pitched squeal and a chorus of laughter. Turning she saw the beaming faces of her daughter and Ella, and Lucifer, who looked amused, but exhausted. At the sight of him, her heart sped up. All the thoughts of who he could be were slammed into the front of her mind and she tried not to stare at him.

Something zoomed toward her and glomped onto her side. “Mommy!” 

“Hi, monkey! What is that?”

Trixie waved animatedly a giant stuffed unicorn in front of her.

“Lucifer won a unicorn for me! We went on the roller coaster twice and we ate two spools of cotton candy!”

She glared at Lucifer and he looked a little sheepish. “May not have been the best choice, but who am I to not give what the child desires?”

Trixie beamed at him and to her surprise he smiled a little in return.

"Lucifer, can I talk to you for a second?" Amenadiel asked with a stony face. 

Curious she watched them walk a little ways away, but then she cleared her throat and turned back to her daughter. She'd had enough strangeness for the moment.

Trixie was currently jumping around excitedly like a baby kangaroo. “What did you do Mommy?”

“Oh uh, Amenadiel and I met with a fortuneteller.”

Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Wow! Did she tell you the future?”

Oh dear she did not want to have to explain what happened to Trixie, so she put on her best smile. “Yes, she said we were gonna have pizza for dinner.”

“Yay!” And Chloe's smile became genuine. Beside them she could hear Amenadiel and Lucifer whispering furiously.

“Are you guys gonna join us?” Trixie shouted.

They both whipped their heads to her.

“Uh--”

“I'm sorry Trixie, but I need to talk to Lucifer about something very important.” Amenadiel looked at Lucifer sternly.

Lucifer chuckled and clapped his shoulder. “Come now, brother. Let's not disappoint the child.”

Her monkey's joyous voice broke apart the tense atmosphere, but the brothers shared one more meaningful look before they departed.

* * *

With Ella, Maze, and Linda gone for a more adult venue, she sat nibbling her pizza in between an exuberant Trixie and a confused Dan with two disturbingly quiet brothers. And she, she could hardly focus on her meal or the excited chatter of her daughter. Lucifer and Amenadiel kept sharing dark looks and hardly joined in the conversation even when Dan tried to bate Lucifer. Chloe frowned. She thought they had patched things up, but apparently something else had come between them.

A few times she caught Lucifer staring at her with a peculiar look in his eyes and she understood. Amenadiel had told him about today, and that was why Lucifer seemed so unnerved. He'd probably blow it out of proportion and she'd have to set him straight with reason. It hadn't been real. Everything the fortuneteller said spun a fascinating story, but only that.

But with the way he stared at her, with disbelief and awe and hope, she wished it had been real. Everything she learned today would explain most of the events that had happened recently.

“Mommy!” Trixie said exasperation coloring her voice.

She jumped a little. “Hmm?”

“You're not listening!”

She smiled apologetically. “I'm sorry, Monkey. I'm just...” She scrunched up her face, unsure how to explain without troubling her young and observant daughter. 

A little hand touched her arm. “Are you okay?” she asked with wide and concerned eyes. 

Too late. Love for her daughter flooded her heart and she relaxed and rushed to reassure her. “I'm just tired sweetie." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. "Will you tell me again?”

For the rest of the night she remained enraptured with the tale of Trixie's adventures. But occasionally she still found Lucifer looking at her strangely. His eyes were open and vulnerable tinged with something she couldn't quite place. And during the midnight fireworks display, Lucifer looked out to the sea, paying no mind to the colorful lights in the sky. And shortly after he departed with hardly a word to any of them.

With Trixie wilting in her arms from the long day, she didn't try to stop him. At least that is what she told herself. And as she watched his retreating back, she realized what had been in his eyes:

Regret.

* * *

It was 3 o'clock in the morning and Chloe was staring at her computer screen. It had been a while since she had done a Google search like this, but she couldn't get that woman's ramblings out of her head. First she started with Justice and what showed up were a bunch of definitions and a cowboy movie. Granted it made sense. As an officer she did try to uphold moral fairness and the administration of the law giving every person what they were owed including mercy. As a person she felt she embodied those qualities: conformity to moral rightness, conformity to truth. But that didn't mean she was the actual living embodiment of Justice. On a whim she searched justice and faith, then justice and God, and only found links about how God was a God of Justice.

Hmph, sure.

Wisdom, courage, prudence, and justice led her to the Cardinal virtues. That woman must have been a Catholic or had done her homework for telling fortunes. How many people had she told were the incarnation of Justice? Samael was probably a fake name too.

As she stood poised to type in the name, her fingers simply hovered over her keyboard. Something inside her told her that if she continued on this path, she couldn't go back. Her life, her entire world view was about to change. Her entire fate hinged on the meaning of a name. She scoffed at herself. This was ridiculous! When did she ever hesitate when the truth was so near? She typed in the name with a little more force than necessary.

What came up had her reeling.

Samael...the accuser, the seducer, and the destroyer. The creator of light and fire, he brought life and death to the universe. Samael was also known as the Lightbringer. Once the brightest angel in the sky until he Fell from Grace and was condemned to rule Hell for all eternity...It was then she realized that she had read this page before. Over a year ago when she had first met Lucifer and she had started investigating him. Samael had fallen and had become the Devil. Like Lucifer claimed. And 'Lucifer' also meant 'Lightbringer'.

What if she had she been talking about Lucifer?

The revelation...the change, the lovers, were they...No they were just cards, but...hadn't Lucifer sent her a message about revealing the truth to her? It was something that he had been hiding because it was so life changing and perhaps dangerous that he had actually been hiding from _her._ And him being the Devil...

No, that was impossible.

It was as impossible as that woman knowing her name without introduction, and as impossible as knowing what had happened with Jimmy, and as impossible as a coincidence that she was talking about the Lightbringer, which 'Lucifer' meant, and as impossible as her knowing about her father, and as impossible as her knowing that she was in love with someone and that that someone had been through so much and had broken her heart and was now spiraling back into his anger and...

Way back in college Chloe had taken a philosophy course. It turned out to be one of her favorite courses with the debates about justice and morality and logic. But there was one lesson that had always stayed with her that continued to help her detective work to this day.

_When you have two competing theories that make exactly the same predictions, the simpler one is the better._

Lucifer could be a victim of abuse who had legally changed his name and taken on the persona of the Devil in order to feel powerful, important. Except that Chloe had scoured every source of information possible to determine his true identity from Interpol to Witness Protection Program and there were no records of him. Lucifer was resourceful and could have had his record expunged, but considering his personality that seemed to require too much forethought and planning. That theory required too many assumptions that her gut told her were ridiculous to make. 

So ironically the simpler one was that Lucifer was exactly who he claimed to be.

And that explanation felt right, like a puzzle piece sliding into place. And she realized it had always felt right, she had just ignored it before because she hadn't been ready.  

Lucifer was the Devil. Her best friend in the entire world was _the Devil_. And that...made complete sense. It explained everything.

Well, almost everything. It didn't completely explain what he did to save her life or how he could bleed in front of her or why he left or got married to Candy...unless he had just been scared by her almost dying because she would go to Heaven and he was banned there...and he latched onto the first person who showed him affection because he was the literal Devil and everyone in the world and throughout history hated him and blamed him for everything evil. And he truly didn't think he was worthy of her...and she didn't believe him so he thought he was doing what was right for her...

Did that mean that he---?

'No, don't think that. Don't hope for that,' she thought. He had said that they were just friends.

Against her will a little flame of hope burned in her heart. Even though she was loathe to admit it, there was still so much love in her heart for him. And if she were completely honest, being with him would make her so happy. She had missed him and she let all the hopes and dreams she had of him fill her mind. When she held her pillow at night she imagined it was him. She dreamed of waking up to him cooking breakfast. Sometimes she imagined that they would sit at his piano and he would play her a song. She thought of the smile he only showed for her and of children with his curly dark hair and her eyes that would share that radiant smile.

She shook her head again. 'Damn it all. Stop it Decker,' she scolded herself.

Those thoughts gripped her heart like a vice. There had been a Mrs. Morningstar and it hadn't been her regardless of the reasons behind it. Although he seemed to like Trixie and in her heart she knew that he would do anything to protect her, he didn't like kids. And all of that didn't matter because he didn't want to be with her. She was just his friend.

She would only ever be his friend.

Besides there were still issues with the Lucifer-is-actually- _the_ -Lucifer theory. How could he get hurt? His genuine confusion in the lab showed that something was wrong with him. What had he been trying to show her?

She had too many questions and there was only one way to answer them. She laughed breathlessly. This was the price of knowledge. More questions! She had to talk to him. Now while her heart was leading and not her head, she had to go to him. She whipped out her phone and called him.

“This is Lucifer Morningstar--”

“Hey--”

“--I'm preoccupied at the moment, but if you so desire leave a message and I'll get back to you later.”

Letting out a frustrated growl, she chucked her phone at her couch. She could imagine how he was preoccupied and her doubts started to creep in again. Angrily she slammed her fists down onto the counter. Screw this! She didn't care if she was interrupting an orgy, she was tired of dancing around each other not truly knowing where they stood. She wanted her best friend back, they had to talk. Now.

She grabbed her jacket and keys and practically ran toward the door.

“Chloe.”

She turned to see her friend standing timidly, half in shadow.

“How long have you been there?”

Maze worked her jaw back and forth, not meeting her eyes. “I've been trying to get the courage to come out.”

“Maze--”

“I know. You need to talk to him. You should, but before you go,” Maze looked down at her hands for a second. When she looked up, Chloe could've sworn she could see tears, “can _we_ talk?”

Chloe smiled warmly. “Of course. We're Tribe, aren't we?”

* * *

Blood dripped down his nose, but he had neither the energy nor the concern to wipe it away. This was his punishment he decided to bask in the pain his sister had so graciously wrought upon him. Especially if what Amenadiel had said to him today was true.

_“Lucifer, we need to talk.”_

_“Oh how was your field trip with the Detective? Her spawn dragged me everywhere and I'm not entirely sure why I let her,” he said turning toward the girl and frowned, confused._

_“Chloe and I spoke to a fortuneteller--”_

_Lucifer gave a short laugh and spun around. “Oh, I'm sure that was a hoot! But why so glum, brother? Has the future run out of hoodies?"_

_To his surprise, Amenadiel was unfazed. “No, Lucifer. I think she actually had a gift and she said--”_

_“Brother, that's rid--”_

_“She knew Chloe was a miracle.”_

_That gave him pause and the smile slowly slipped from his face._

_“And the things she said...Luci, you need to tell Chloe the truth. Something dangerous is coming.”_

_He frowned. “Yes, I know. His name is Cain and I'm going to handle him away from Chloe. And before you say anything, she is trusting me to handle this. I can protect her. I know I can!”_

_Amenadiel shook his head. "No I think what's coming may be more dangerous than Cain! Something is happening in Heaven.”_

_"Something is always happening in Heaven. The Detective need not be involved."_

_"She is though. More than you realize."_

_He sighed frustrated and moved to turn away, but Amenadiel grabbed his arm. "Father created her as the incarnation of the cardinal virtue Justice. Dark forces will be drawn to her. Why are you stalling?"_

_The words hit him like a gale of wind. She was...So that's why...If what Amenadiel was saying was true, then how could he hold off any longer? He deflated. “I just wanted a little more time with her before...she leaves.”_

_He looked away from Amenadiel's sympathetic gaze. “I don't think you'll scare her off,” he said gently._

_In spite of his regular instincts, hope sparked in him. “What do you mean?”_

_“I think this means Mom and I were wrong.”_

How many times had he gone over that conversation since then? Amenadiel had been silent about it after that confrontation. Really he could've given him more information, but he had been, in Lucifer's mind, purposely vague. Probably to get him to talk to Chloe.

And it worked as he was about to call her to invite her over, when he encountered an unexpected visitor in the form of the Angel of Death with unsurprisingly dire tidings.

He sighed. He rubbed the bridge of nose and flinched. Right. Broken nose. Damn his sister's right hook. 'Our family needs better methods of communication,' he thought bitterly. Absently he filed that thought away to discuss with Linda as he gingerly tried to stand for him to stumble and fall again with a dull thud.

He groaned. Though he was loathe to admit it, Amenadiel was right: he needed to tell her the truth as soon as possible especially if Azrael's vague warnings of rumors of dissention in the Silver City were true. She needed the opportunity to decide if she wanted to stay a part of this deadly and powerful world of theirs or take her daughter and run.

He had been stalling to spend as much time with her as possible for he knew in his heart once she believed the truth, she would be gone. And now all the cruel things, though well intended and protective in nature, he had done to his-theDetective could have been for naught? He deserved her hatred, her ire, her disdain, every negative emotion that he knew she had been withholding due to her forgiving and generous nature. It had only been his selfish nature that had staved off the inevitable. But no longer. He loved—he loved her. The revelation came naturally and it made his head spin, but it was true. He loved her. He would do anything to protect her, even if it meant tearing his own heart asunder.

He needed to call her. Now. He looked around briefly and saw the plastic bits of what used to be his phone scattered across the floor.

'Damn. I hope I can get the pictures off of there.

He sighed. It was just as well. He needed to figure out how to tell her without sending her to the mental hospital. He would do that tonight. Then he would see her tomorrow and tell her everything.

“Lucifer! Lucifer! Where are you?” He jerked in surprise at that golden voice and his heart quickened with anticipation and fear.

'Thanks Dad. You couldn't have given me time to think of a plan?!'

When the doors opened the light from the lift surrounded and bent around her making it look as though it was coming from her.

“Chloe...” he whispered in awe.

“Oh my God,” she breathed as soon as she saw him. Then she winced at her words. Although appreciative of her consideration, he couldn't help the remark passing his lips.

“Please don't bring Him up right now. I've had enough of God and His people today.”

“What?” She looked around quickly and put her hand to her hip. Odd. He had imagined an eye roll or a comment about him retaining his sense of humor, not a fighting stance against a Heavenly body.

“What happened to you?” she asked and he jumped at her sudden closeness.

At some point she had knelt in front of him. Had she run over there or had he blacked out? His mind moved sluggishly so either or both could've happened. But who cared? She was there. As she inspected his face, he looked at her in a daze in part from blood loss and in part from her proximity. Wow she was so close. And she smelled like clear water and lilacs and spring. Her light touches were like a balm and he leaned into them.

“A little tiff with family,” he mumbled.

She raised her eyebrow in question.

“My sister, Azreal. It turns out she was the one who gave me my uh... well she returned things to me while I was in the desert.”

She frowned. He didn't like that. Her lips were so perfect they should not be frowning. Maybe he should kiss them? That might help them smile. He loved her smile.

“Because she didn't want me to know?”

He shook his head to refocus. She was asking him questions. Regardless of how strange they were, it would probably be best to answer her. “Quite the opposite actually. But apparently bad times are coming and I needed to be at full strength.”

“By taking you to the desert?” she asked incredulous.

“No, no. That _was_ the Sinnerman. She merely gave me some added features.”

“Right, right, sorry, I'm sorry.” He blinked at her confused. What was she sorry for? She sighed and frowned apologetically. “I didn't mean to bring up..." Oh. That. She had confessed to him during one of their dinners how much shame she felt for not believing him. Truly he didn't blame her. Over the past few months he had given her little reason to trust anything he would say or do. He was the one who was sorry. None of this was her fault. 

He gently, hesitantly placed his hand on hers. "It's all right. It's all in the past now."

Staring at her hands he heard her sigh and when she looked up her eyes were warm and clear and bright. Something passed between them. Something pleasant and soothing, like spreading aloe on a burn. Something he realized they both needed.

"Anyway...,” she gestured to his face. 

“Oh I misplaced something of hers and she was, uh, unhappy,” he said with a wry chuckle and dismissive wave of his hand. She huffed and the anger flowed off of her in waves.

“She beat you up because you lost something?”

He grimaced. “I may have also said some unkind things.”

Although not mollified she nodded, but didn't ask the question he could see in her eyes. Jaw set her eyes traced his face and he followed them. They were truly beautiful. He never noticed before, but she had the slightest bit of green in her eyes.

“We should get you cleaned up. Do you have a first aid kit?”

Twenty minutes, some whining and playful swats later, he was feeling a little better. The penthouse, however, was still in shambles, but they were able to clear off one of the couches to sit comfortably. It was nice being here with his Detective, _the_ Detective. He had to stop doing that. He'd made sure that she would never be his, didn't he? A pain stabbed at his heart at the thought and he cleared his throat. Forgiveness, perhaps, he'd earned. Her heart he had not. 

“So other than practicing nursemaid, Detective, why are you here?”

She hesitated. Her face was so open and lovely. Then she bit her lip like she did whenever she was thinking hard or trying not to cry, though thankfully she didn't look like she was about to cry. Father, was she beautiful. Why did she have to be so beautiful? 

“I—I had a weird day. And I realized some things about—about us. And I wanted to talk.”

“I thought there was never an 'us',” he said though not with malice. During one of their many past fights and before they had started their weekly dinners, it was simply a fact that she had stated. Their relationship had never blossomed into anything that would be considered an 'us'.

“There almost was.”

They stared at each other for a long moment. Everything he had ever wanted was in those eyes. But it couldn't be. He would hope no higher than he could reach and she, she surpassed him to the Heavens.

She looked away and he saw a touch of nervousness in her eyes as she swiped a hair behind her ear. “I've been thinking a lot about why you left and got married and kept things from me and everything else...”

“Detective--”

“And with a recent,” she looked pensive for a moment, “...encounter, I've realized that sometimes things aren't always as clear as they seem, and sometimes people hide parts of themselves, so...”

“Detective, please, I can't forgive myself.”

“I don't care,” she blurted.

The wind was knocked out of him. “I don't care about what happened. It happened and we can't change that. But I said that going backwards isn't good and I meant it. And I...,” she smiled fondly. “I forgive you.”

He leaned away from her, heart pounding, but her hands clasped his firmly and he would never deny himself her touch. “You got scared. You were trying to push me away, so I let you for a while. What you did hurt me, a lot, but...I don't give up on someone I love without a fight. So I'm not giving up on you.”

He stared at his hands, at _their_ hands and-- Wait, someone she loved? His eyes widened as he looked back up at her.

“Unless you want me to.” She worried her lip between her teeth again and his eyes were drawn to it.

“I want this. I want you. I want to make this work.” She blinked a tear away and he gently wiped her face with her thumb. Smiling at him she sighed.

“But if you don't, just say the word. We can go back to being just friends or just partners or...whatever. All I want is for you to be happy. Whatever that means.”

He sighed and could feel the heat grow behind his eyes. Everything he ever wanted was right in front of him, but he couldn't have it. Not once she knew. “I want nothing more than this, but Detective you don't know what you're asking for.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don't,” he laughed wetly. “I wasn't being modest before; I'm not worth it. I'm—I'm a monster.”

“No!” She took his face in her hands and brought him forward until their foreheads were touching. “Lucifer, you are the best person I know. You're my favorite person. You're a good man with such a loving heart. You try so hard. And you love so, so selflessly. You make me laugh. You're great with Trixie. And you make me a better detective. You're _not_ the Devil.”

He forced himself to pull away from her. “ _Yes, I am,”_ he said firmly, trying to make her understand. She had to understand. But she only shook her head.

“The Devil is someone the world made up to blame for all of the evil in it. I've seen humanity's capacity for evil, Lucifer, and you have nothing to do with it. Yes, sometimes you're frustrating and annoying and obnoxious, and maybe you're a little too violent and a little reckless, but you're also tender and kind and fun. You light up every room you enter. You're not the Devil.”

Mournfully he turned and walked away from the couch. Miserably, he raked his hand through his hair. She would never believe him.

“You're the Lightbringer.”

There was a beat of pause as his brain tried to register what she had just said. His hand stayed suspended awkwardly as he turned toward her again. “What did you say?”

Her eyes were filled with affection, warmth, and understanding, along with something he had seen in a different woman's eyes a long, long time ago: _knowledge_.

“You know,” he breathed.

She nodded with a little smile and his mind went blank. She knew and she was there gently taking his hand in hers.

“How?”

She smiled a little wryly. “I had an enlightening afternoon. And I think I've always known. It just took a little nudge in the right direction.”

He huffed out a laugh. “The fortuneteller.”

“And Maze. She uh stopped me before I came here. She explained some things about herself and you.”

“She is rather meddlesome, isn't she?” he said with a fond smile, but it dropped as it hit him what she could actually know. “What did she tell you?”

“I know what you've done for me...what happened with your brother.” He gasped and looked away, but she brushed his cheek with her fingers. “I know that you've died for me twice. And you're gonna stop doing that by the way.”

Tears had begun to form in her eyes and instinctively he touched her face.

“I still don't really know why you left. I mean Maze told me I was special. And the fortune teller called me Divine-Touched.” She shook her head. “I don't...know what that means.”

She grimaced and looked away shyly. Her hands left his face and came to rest on his chest. “Was it because of me?”

“No,” he gasped out. 

She bit her lip. “You were really angry, before the whole thing with the poison." 

The pain on her face was unbearable. He wanted desperately to erase that look from her face.

“I know. I was being stupid. I had just found out and I was upset.” He sighed. “I was afraid that—You must understand that it's difficult for me to trust anyone and honestly, the thought of you...wanting me was a little unbelievable.”

“Okay...," she said slowly. "But why did you leave? Why did you get married?”

He stared at her for a few moments. There was nothing accusatory in her gaze, only genuine curiosity and concern. She even gave a small encouraging smile to him and led them back to the couch. He immediately sunk back down.

“I was afraid this wasn't real...” He smiled wryly, “I was afraid this _was_ real. I was afraid of losing you if I showed you the truth and how much that would destroy me if you rejected me. And I am afraid of what will happen in the end.”

In the end she would go where he couldn't follow. And looking into her eyes, he saw she understood and shared that fear.

“I tried to convince myself I was content with loneliness as long as you were on this earth. As long as you were safe and happy, my feelings didn't— _don't_ matter because it's not fair that you were put in the middle of all this. It's not fair that you were forced to care about me.”

He took a deep breath. “My Father sent Amenadiel to bless your mother. He placed you in my path. You're a miracle and I thought...You don't deserve someone like me. You should be free to make your own choices. I thought leaving would allow you that freedom.”

“Then why return?”

He sighed again. “Because you were still in danger with my mother being here. I had to handle her, but I had to have a way to keep you at a distance. And truthfully, I just couldn't stay away. As soon as I saw you, all of my feelings came rushing back. It took all of my strength to not kiss you in the precinct and confess everything. I told myself I was working with you to protect you, but that was a lie. I just wanted to be near you. If only to see your face, hear your voice, just for a little longer.”

She pulled away from him letting everything sink in and Lucifer could feel it coming: the rejection, the anger.

The silence between them stretched. The distance widened cavernously and Lucifer made no move to bridge it. This was for the best. It had to be. He didn't deserve her. She knew the truth, but she hadn't seen it. And once she did...He chuckled mirthlessly.

“I broke your heart to protect you. But I also fought to still see you. When I could have just stayed away. I could have saved you from that extra pain. So much for loving selflessly, eh?” He heard her gasp and he looked up.

“You love me?” she whispered breathlessly.

Why lie now? “More than anything.” Cupping her cheek, he memorized the feel of her. Her slid closed and she breathed deeply. When she opened them, he saw nothing but warmth. 

“You made a mistake and I forgive you for that. Except I don't understand. You said you were trying to give me a choice, but you never really gave me one.”

Shame filled him. That was true. He had taken away her opportunity to make a choice about him. If he had told her the truth sooner, she could have chosen the path for herself. He was no better than his Father.

“And just because your Dad made me possible doesn't mean I don't have a choice. I'm still human right?”

“Yes...”

She scooted closer and looked up at him. “And if I didn't have free will, why would I fight so hard against you working with me? Against even the idea of being with you romantically?”

He winced. “Yes well I was very mistaken. Turns out you can't be influenced by the Divine.”

Her eyes widened a fraction, but then she blinked and frowned. “Yeah we'll have to talk more about that one later, but is that really the only reason you believe me?”

“Well I'm me and you're...”

'...the pure manifestation of goodness in human form, light glittering on the sea with eyes a clearer blue than the sky and even the storms were beautiful. Full of wonder and grace and knowledge and joy, you are what Heaven was supposed to be,' he thought, but there was only one way to encapsulate who she was to him.

“...you. Why would you want to be with me?”

“Oh Lucifer.” She gently held his face and he kissed her palm.

Her smile light up her eyes like stars. “Because I _choose_ you, Lucifer. You're my best friend in the world and I don't want to live my life without you.”

He chuckled without humor. How could she choose? 

“You haven't seen everything.” And once she did...

“Then show me,” she whispered, her lips mere millimeters from his. “You don't have to be afraid. I meant what I said: I'm not giving up on you. When you're ready, you can show me. And I promise, I won't leave.”

Her eyes were filled with such raw emotion that he did believe. He believed in her and everything she was, but self-doubt was his curse and lot in life. “Are you sure?” he breathed.

“Yes.” Gently she kissed him. It was just a brush of her lips on his, but it sent of frisson of energy through him, emboldening him. He kissed her back. 

Stepping away, he nodded to which she smiled encouragingly, and he took a deep breath. Mentally figuring any way to make this easier for her, he looked around the room. He didn't want what happened to Linda to happen to her. How to make her feel safe? Then it hit him.

“You have your gun, yes?”

“What?” she asked sharply.

“ _Your gun_ , do you have it?”

She nodded slowly with narrowed eyes.

“Very good then. Take it out, please.”

“No," she said resolutely. 

“Please, Detective. Trust me.”

Her brow crinkled with worry, but she unbuckled to her holster. He sighed.

“That'll have to do. Now...” He shifted uncomfortably, wiping his pants. He was suddenly very aware of his body and it felt awkward and foreign. Looking up at her face her brow was still crinkled in confused concern. He gulped. This was it. Last chance. 

“Are you absolutely sure? Because you can't unknow this. Sometimes knowledge isn't worth the price. Believe me I know.”

“You're more than worth it,” she said with a fond smile.

“Perhaps a drink to calm your nerves?” He was stalling he knew, but he really didn't want to hear her screaming unless it was in ecstasy.

She made to walk toward him, but he stuck up his hands and she stopped. He didn't want her close for this. “Lucifer, it's okay. Whatever you have to show me, I'm here for you.” She smiled encouragingly.

He set his jaw and nodded, branding the image of her smiling face into his brain: the way her eyes sparkled like the ocean at dawn, how her hair flowed in waves to frame her face, and how her smooth olive skin glowed like the sun. How he longed to touch her one last time. To cement the memory in his mind, as soon a memory he would only have, he reverently etched her image into his mind's eye and into his heart where he would hold her forever.

Hands trembling he closed his eyes and tried to focus, but his mind then provided the memory of the warehouse so long ago.

_Who are you? What are you?_

The abject fear on her face of a power greater than herself, all of her beliefs scattered instantly coupled with a primal aversion long beset in her ancestry: fear of darkness, fear of death, fear of evil, fear of _him_ still sent chills down his spine.

“Before I do this,” he said softly, opening his eyes for one last drink of her face, “I want you to know that I would never harm you or Beatrice or even Dan. I—you all mean so much to me.”

Closing his eyes again, he let his glamour fade and released his wings. He heard her gasp and he waited with bated breath for the gunshot. Seconds slipped on until he began to wonder if she was still there. Then he had a horrible thought: what if she was paralyzed with fear like Linda had been and he was just standing there like an idiot with his ruddy face still showing.

Then he heard her shaking voice.

“Is this what you tried to show me in the lab?”

Nodding his head slowly, he waited for the sound of her retreating feet. She was going to run. Any minute now he would hear the elevator doors open and she would leave him forever.

But then he caught the scent of her hair and he felt the gossamer touch of lips on his charred ones.

Gasping he pulled away and replaced his human face. When he looked at her, her eyes were tender with sadness and something he started to truly believe was real.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked with tears starting to fall.

He shook his head dumbly watching her with wide eyes.

His mind was racing. Why was she still there? Didn't she understand what he was?

“So that really hap--Is that from--Oh, Lucifer,” she said as she reached out to him and he pulled back like a wounded animal.

“Hell burns everything,” he said with a shrug, still not looking at her. The only things that had survived Hell's fire were his wings, taunting him with their flawless beauty as a reminder of his Father's love and ultimate rejection.To have them returned and his Devil face taken had been a tainted gift; a reminder of what he wasn't anymore. He was beginning to forget them and even started to relish not having the Hellish visage, but then Cain had been so _kind_ to recently return his face to him.

"I haven't been the Lightbringer for a very long time."

“I'm so sorry. But Lucifer that face, this face, your wings...,” his eyes slid closed as her fingertips moved down his face and threaded through his wings. "You may not be the Lightbringer, but maybe you're not the Devil either."

His eyes snapped open and stared at her. Then what was he?

"Maybe you're both or neither. Maybe I'm not a miracle or Justice or whatever." She shook her head. "Maybe all of that doesn't matter. Maybe you're just you and I'm just me.”

Her smile shone with pure light. “Partners. Friends. Devilish guardian angel and miraculous guarded person I guess?" She scrunched up her face and giggled. 

"Ward, love, ward," he said as he chuckled. 

"Oh, okay," she said as she held his face, her thumb gently moving back and forth. Her smile faded into a more serious expression: earnest and insistent, but the light of... _love_  in her eyes remained.

"But most of all we're _us_.” 

Us?

He gasped and laughed and wept as his walls crumbled under the weight of it all. How odd it was the utter burden of someone's caring, the chains of worry and guilt they brought, and yet how strong one felt and how real the freedom one gained because of it. He felt it all; it was wonderful and terrifying and immense. Collapsing to the floor in her arms, he wept in joy and pain. Her hands were on his face, loving him with her touch and it shook him to his core. His tears and pain burst forth like a dam breaking.

“You're still here.”

She kissed his forehead. “Of course I am.”

“This is—this is _real_.”

“Always,” she whispered.

All the pain and heart break he had endured and _caused_ had been for nothing. The guilt overwhelmed him. Only held back by his will to suppress it by focusing on his problems and justifying her pain by convincing himself it was for her good, it now came in waves, crashing and tumbling down on him. He was drowning in the tumult. 

“I'm so--I'm so, so sorry for hurting you, Chloe.”

She kissed him again and her fingers carded through his hair. “Ssh, it's okay. It's okay.”

Placing a lingering kiss on his forehead she whispered, “I forgive you.”

Her voice calmed the waves. Her hands bore him to the surface. He gasped in relief as he held on to her for his life and she kissed his cheeks, his eyes, his nose, his lips and she trailed kisses down his neck.

“But no more running, okay? We're a team. And not because of your Dad.” She moved his head to face her and she stared into his eyes with deep conviction. “ _I_ choose you.”

“Why?” He believed her; he could feel it, but he needed her to say the words.

“Because I'm in love with you,” she whispered and she kissed him fully. He poured everything he had into it, a long, slow, languid kiss that stole her breath. Her whimpers and gasps were Heavenly music as he kissed her. Kissing Chloe was right. Kissing Chloe was like coming home after a long and arduous journey. He never wanted to not kiss Chloe Decker for the rest of their lives.

He pulled back and whispered, “I love you, too.”

He caressed her face as her eyes glittered. Leaning against her forehead again, he stared at her smiling face, giddy with joy. He giggled. Emboldened he kissed her again. Reveling in the taste of her, in the knowledge of her love, in everything that was this moment. They pulled away when they needed to breathe.

Something caught her attention outside and her eyes lit up with unadulterated enchantment. “Oh wow.”

He turned toward the window and gasped. Flecks of crystal white snow were drifting down from the sky.

“It's a New Year's miracle,” she whispered in awe. Chuckling he rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

'Show off.'

But really, looking at her face alive in wonder, a lightness filled his chest and he was grateful for this moment.

He gently placed her hair behind her ear and leaned his forehead against hers. “Happy New Year, Chloe.”

She smiled brilliantly. “Happy New Year, Lucifer.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Vates is Latin for prophet/prophetess. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! If you like to, please leave a comment/kudos. Whenever I receive a comment I'm a little nervous to read, so it takes me a while to respond, but I do eventually. I'm sorry! They really do mean a lot to me!


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